This little light of mine
Y'know, I have to say - I am extremely blessed in one aspect of this whole infertility crapfest. Many infertiles have posted about friends getting pg, and how difficult it is to be around them. How they want to be happy for their friends, and they try - hard - but just can't help being upset and depressed. Even jealous. Or they
are happy for their friends, yet still have to contend with these negative feelings.
All of this makes sense, and is completely understandable. After all we go through, all the disappointments, the crushing negatives, the devastating losses it's near impossible to not be affected by the news that someone near you got pregnant.
For some blessed reason, I don't experience this. I'm not sure why, and I keep expecting these negative feelings to rear their ugly heads when I hear about yet another pregnancy, but I don't. I am truly thrilled when I hear about someone's pg, whether they`ve had an "easy" and "normal" time of it, whether they've struggled with IF for years, or whether they've anticipated having a difficult time because of a medical history and thank G-d didn't.
With all the misery I associate with infertility, and all the garbage that accompanies it - the financial worries, the fights, friends not knowing how to talk to you, etc., etc., ad nauseum - this is one little bright light that I hold onto very tightly. I am so very grateful that I can be happy for everyone who succeeds in grabbing that brass ring, regardless of how the carousel ride went. May G-d continue to grant me this little blessing that holds so much power for me.
Labels: infertility, self-improvement
Bathtub blessings
We interrupt these whiny, poor-me postings for a special message...I just have to say - I have the best Hubby in the whole world. Last night was mikvah night, and I was a little stressed trying to figure out how I was going to get ready in time, since I get home from work late. I had meant to ask Hubby to rinse out the tub for me because he gets home earlier than I do (hey, we have a tub-happy dog, so it needs rinsing in between cleanings), but I forgot.
I got home, raced in the door, and caught Hubby closing the door to the bedroom, so I suspected he had made the bedroom nice and purty, but the surprise was in the bathroom. He not only rinsed the tub, he decided to scrub it for me, placed flowers in a vase, lit a few candles and put my "mikvah-prep table" next to the tub.
Did I mention the glass of wine he had waiting for me when I walked in the door?
I am one lucky ducky.
We now return to our regularly scheduled whine.Labels: self-improvement
A simple, "No thank you" would suffice
What is it with people/companies/etc. these days? Back in the good ol' days, it would have been positively unthinkable to leave a person hanging. These days, it seems follow-up is becoming extinct. Let me explain.
In the past many months, Hubby and I both have been contacted by various organizations. Hubby has been called to be a possible consultant on a project. Hubby was asked to submit a proposal on another project. For both pojects, the people contacting Hubby were extremely enthusiastic about his participation. I was asked to participate in a community event, which I said would depend on the information they sent me. The event is in the planning stages; whether or not it happens depends on if they get enough participants. That's three different contacts, for those keeping track.
Have any of these people gotten back to us? No. The first project was dependant upon whether or not they could get funding. Fine, so call Hubby and say, "sorry, we couldn't get the funding." The second group decided to go in another direction. He's still waiting for the, "thank you for the time and effort you put into our proposal, and working so hard to keep the costs down, but we're going to go in another direction." As for my event - I have no idea if it's on or off, I never received the information the person was supposed to send. I have sent two emails, the last one including a request to at least confirm with me one way or the other.
Nothing. Nada. Zilp. Zilch. Zippo.
With my round of job applications last year, I discovered that this attitude is also
de rigueur in the working world. Apparently, it's no longer necessary to say, "thanks, but no thanks" if you're not interested in someone. A few years ago, I interviewed for something, got called in for a second interview and
still never heard back. I had to call them to find out they selected someone else.
It's wrong and rude. Especially in this electronic age. Send an email, for cryin' out loud. One email is all it takes; bcc all the peole you're rejecting, so you can send one email to everyone. Seriously, how much time will that take? And for the love of monkeys, if you say you're going to call someone, call them. And
especially if you're the one pursuing the person, keep them updated - let them know what's going on. Don't get them all excited about a project, and then drop 'em like a hot potato.
A little bit of politeness and consideration can go a long way. Heck, we can even change the world. It's not hard to make a person feel good. Or at least, it's not hard to keep them from feeling royally ticked off. Take a minute to say, "sorry, but no thanks."
Thank you.
Labels: crankiness, misc, self-improvement
Me first
I'm disappointed in myself today.
Taped to the inside cabinet door in my bathroom, I have
Rabbi Zelig Pliskin's list of 10 things to
plan your day. I start my day by going over the list, then
(usually forget to) end my day
reviewing how much I actually accomplished.
Today, for the question, "what acts of kindness can I do today?" I decided I was going to be more patient with other bus passengers, and not worry about getting pushed out of my place in line (for all their politeness, Canadians simply cannot figure out how to queue for a bus).
This morning, the bus was at the stop and I had to do a little jog across a parking lot to get there in time. A woman my age, shape and size ran up behind me, stepped past me, and literally shoved herself in front of me as I was putting my foot on the first step. That immediately got my shackles up, and I quietly spit, "excuse me" between clenched teeth, then shoved myself back in front of her.
She was wrong, yes, but I was wronger*. While she was, no question, extremely rude and pushy, there was no need for me to react the way I did. There was plenty of space on the bus and she and I were the last two people getting on the bus at that stop. There was no way I was not getting on that bus. All I had to do was step aside.
I made my resolution this morning, and within an hour, I blew it. I was tested and I failed. I am so disappointed in myself for letting this woman get to me. What if she had fought back? How embarrassing to be involved in a pissing match over which of us gets to get on the spacious bus first. What if she was having a horrible morning, and honestly didn't notice me there? Perhaps if I had stepped aside and let her go first, she might have noticed me and apologized. And then made her own resolution to be more observant.
Tomorrow's acts of kindness? To be better than I was today.
*It actually is a real word. Honest. It's just not seen in common usage. English is a much more fun language than we let it be.Labels: learning, self-improvement, torah
