03 October 2007

Shut up, cranky witch

Sorry, I didn't mean to sound so whiny and cranky. And thank you for not pointing out my whininess and crankiness.

I don't want to be, or even sound like, a bitter, old, childless crank. I'm just really feeling the lack of invites this year, when even our reliable stand-bys don't invite us. Are we sounding bitter and cranky? Is that why we're being left out? Or is it, as I suspect, we're not on anyone's radar, because they don't see us picking up the kids from school, they don't see at school events, they don't see us at the kid's fair at the Jewish Community Centre, little Rivka didn't ask to come over to Mr. & Mrs. Projgen's house to play, so there's no, "Oh! Look, the Projgens! I wanted to invite them for dinner on Simchat Torah!"


Maybe it will be better once we actually decide where we stand. We still think we want to try another cycle, the low-dose I was talking about. But all the doctors we met previously, who know about this stuff, and to whom we want to talk before making any decisions, are all Jewish and bogged down with the holidays, so we have to wait.

Hey, infertility is like being in the Army, eh - hurry up and wait.

Chag Sameach, and Happy Thanksgiving if you're north of the 49th or Columbus Day if you're south.

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At 4/10/07 6:52 a.m., Blogger Bea said...

Direction helps. Hope you can get some soon.


At 5/10/07 3:22 p.m., Blogger Lut C. said...

What's not to be cranky about? Of course, no one is bothered by it but your (and your husband), so if you can shake it all the better.

At 8/10/07 1:32 a.m., Blogger shanna said...

Said it before (though maybe only over email?) and I'll say it again - I really wish you were local, because we'd be having you over for plenty of Shabbat and yom tov meals. Who wants to invite over a bunch of kids? We have only one place for a guest-baby to nap, and I don't feel like adjusting my whole menu to be kid-friendly. (One spare container of plain pasta and maybe an alternate appetizers - that's it.) Besides, people with kids never want to come over for dinner, and (until we change the clocks at least) we love hosting dinner, since our kids are already asleep and we can finally have some grown-up conversation without stopping every five seconds to change a diaper or whatever.

Meager consolation, I'm sure, but it's all I can do.

Does you shul have a meals-hospitality program? We put our names out there a few times (pre-kids), even after we'd been in the community for a few years, either when we wouldn't have time to cook (like the Shabbat of Thanksgiving weekend here, when we were driving back from NY on Friday) or when we just felt like meeting new people. It's not as dorky as you think. Tag on a note saying that you "need a break from cooking" or "want to make some new friends" if you feel self-conscious.

At 8/10/07 3:08 a.m., Blogger JewishMama said...

We are also a frum infertile couple who tried to make contact with others in the community by inviting people over for Shabbos. The couples with no kids were always about 10 years younger than us, and usually just married. The families with kids found it difficult as we have no toys to play with and the place isn't child-proofed. It's a very lonely life in the frum world if you don't have children.


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