What's up, Doc

I hate doctors.*

I have a long history of chronic annoyances that can't be cured, and can't really even be treated; I just have to live with them. Whatever. But this has been going on for 25 years. After a quarter of a century, I know my stuff. I know all the technical terms for what ails me. I know the body parts, I know how things work, I even know what my test results should be.

Every time I have to switch doctors, and I explain my history, I get treated to the most patronizing comments. Even after I give all the details, using all the proper terminology, I still get treated like I'm a 5-year old moron.

Yesterday, I'm at my new doctor's office for the pap smear, and after I pointed out that I've been having paps done for 20 years, she proceeded to tell me that the scary silver thing was a speculum, there was going to be "pressure," she was going to have to scrape my cervix, etc.

*sigh*

Now, I don't want her to just jam the thing in there without letting me know, I just think there has to be some happy medium between not saying a word, and treating the patient like an idiot.

Aside from the fact that the waiting room (which was filled with 9/10 elderly people), only has Family, Your Toddler and You, Parenting Today, Baby, and every other kind of "you ain't got this" magazine, and every exam room has the same cute picture of a robust baby in a pink fluffy thing, Doctor New really impressed me when she asked if my fertility clinic had checked my ovarian reserve. Um, what the- ? AND she assumed that I was the cause of our infertility, and started talking about PCOS and other ovarian issues. I shut her up with one word: Vasectomy.

Then, hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha, she asked if I'd ever had an ultrasound.

Oh. my. gosh.

I had to bite my tongue to keep from telling her how I did it with the dildocam many many times. Oh, yeah. And I'm gonna do it again. And you can't stop me.
*sigh*²

I don't expect family doctors to know the details about what goes on in a fertility clinic, but c'mon. At least know the basics. And at least take my blood pressure, when you know I have a family history of hypertension, dammit.**


*Make that some doctors. I have had some amazing doctors in my experience, one in particular who went out of his way for me on numerous occasions. Like when we thought I had endometriosis, and I went to, I think, 6 different gynecologists who all insisted I had a bladder infection and tried to give me antibiotics, even though my white cell count was absolutely normal and I presented no symptoms of bladder infection. My doc kept searching for a gyn, found one, I went, he advised surgery. After the surgery, the gyn said he wished he had taped the procedure; it was so complicated, I would have made a great teaching case study. I loved that doc. I'm sure, though, that with HMOs, he no longer has the time, nor can he afford, to spend that much time on each patient these days.

MSP, BC's healthcare, does not cover physical exams. Basic stuff just ain't done anymore. Apparently, they've never heard of "preventative care" here.

Labels: crankiness, infertility, misc

posted by projgen @ 19:09