25 July 2006

F*ck you and the adoption horse you rode in on

WARNING: This post contains foul language. And I use the word 'fuck' a lot.

It's bad enough I was at a barbecue recently where I was hanging out with the chicks having a beer, talking about b.s., having a grand old time and WHAM! IVF comes up. FUCK OFF. I kept my mouth shut. Then the stupid stories about how "a friend of mine adopted a baby, and then she got pregnant" started flowing a mile a minute. Everyone had one (I have one, too, but I keep my mouth shut).

Then today I mentioned to someone (it came up legitimately in conversation) our struggles and her response was "adopt. Whatever you do, adopt. It helps you get pregnant. And besides, even if it doesn't, adopting will allow you to move on with life and be happy."

Will allow you to move on with life.

And be happy.

Well, fuck me and slap me silly with a stinky fish. If I had known that I would never have fucking spent $20,000 on reversals and MESA's and especially wouldn't have wasted any money on a stupid freakin' IVF cycle. Not to mention fittering away trying to come up with more money for more cycles. What WERE we thinking? JUST FUCKING ADOPT.

Even Robbie's latest post mentions a letter to the editor written by a stinky-fish-holding genius who knows that just adopting is the answer to all life's mysteries, including that pesky E=MC2.

A pox on all the doctors who never told us that we could just adopt. Ordinary Joes keep telling us, but fuck us, we keep listening to the experts. Are we morons or what?

Well, there you go. Obviously we're too stupid to be parents. Otherwise we would have known we could just adopt.


At 25/7/06 5:28 a.m., Blogger ms. x said...

Oh, now come on. Didn't you watch Friends? Monica and Chandler adopted and not only did they get one healthy baby in only a month's time - they got TWO babies - a boy and a girl. AND they still had plenty of money left over to buy a lovely house in Westchester.

Silly infertile, everyone knows that when you adopt you get to live happily ever after and it barely costs you a dime!

Disclaimer: I am very pro-adoption and we would certainly adopt if we could get some sort of financial assistance to do so, but we can't. So...there. Take that, ignorant Adoption Pushers!

At 25/7/06 4:17 p.m., Blogger Robber Barren said...

Tell those f*ckers to "just adopt" a new, more compassionate attitude. And some common f*cking sense.

At 25/7/06 8:05 p.m., Anonymous Erin said...

Perhaps you should ask them if they'd mind filling out the stacks upon stacks of paperwork, chase down all the forms, prove that you'd be fit parents to social workers and government agencies, pay thousands and thousands of dollars, wait for months or years while agonizing over everything about the process, and to just let you know when the child is ready to be brought home? Because if they would do all of that for you, then certainly, you'd like to "just adopt". Otherwise, perhaps they haven't considered how f*cking stupid it is to say that you should "just adopt".

At 25/7/06 10:22 p.m., Blogger Lut C. said...

I get your frustration, completely.

Karen (The Naked Ovary) wrote a good post about this: To Just Adopt Or Not To Just Adopt.

At 26/7/06 4:07 a.m., Blogger My Reality said...

Uggggg. That is the one comment that makes my blood boil more than all of the stupid "just relax" comments. I commend you on not hitting the woman who said it.

At 26/7/06 5:29 a.m., Blogger Meg said...

*shiver of anger*

I am hating people increasingly more as time goes on.

At 26/7/06 10:41 p.m., Blogger projgen said...

x - don't even get me started on the freakin' Friends storyline. "oops, we're the most incompetent doctors in the world and had no idea there were TWO heartbeats there."

robbie - can I use my fist on their nose to help them "just adopt" a new attitude? ;)

erin - the very first thing I usually point out to those who say "JA" is that Hubby is out of work at the moment (which is why we can't afford another cycle). What social agency is going to say, "oh you're on the dole? you'll make great parents - here ya go!"

lut - thanks for the link

my reality - welcome! and to both you and meg: deep breaths. stay calm...

thanks for the support, everyone. It made me feel better. At least until the next JA showed up (see latest post). ::sigh::

At 28/7/06 5:01 p.m., Anonymous Anonymous said...

Just sign me up to bitch slap those people for you!
Best, Sylvia

At 28/7/06 10:09 p.m., Blogger projgen said...

lol! Thanks, Sylvia. And welcome!

At 30/7/06 5:12 a.m., Anonymous Anonymous said...

Even though I just read your blog for the first time yesterday, I have nothing but loyalty to any one dealing w/ infertility. I wish you and your loved one all the best! Remember -- ignore those assholes!



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