08 June 2007

Stand back! She's got hormones!

The thing that is really getting me about the 2ww, is not the waiting. Waiting is waiting, you find ways to make the time go by. What's killing me is the emotional torture. Am I or am I not?

I had such a fit of gloom-n-doom yesterday, being so sure this cycle isn't going to work (see what games we play? We can't even bring ourselves to say the pg word, even if we sure we're NOT). Does this or that sign mean it worked, or does it mean AF is coming? I can tell myself until I'm blue in the face that I won't know until I know, so stop trying to interpret the signs, but it doesn't matter. I can't stop. This morning I woke up to realize my boobies are no longer big and sore, so I figured "that's it."

But on the bus ride to work, I suddenly got more nauseous than I've ever felt. And I can count the times I have thrown up in my entire life on one hand. I don't barf too often. But that could mean anything, like maybe I shouldn't have had that pastrami sandwich last night. Besides, it's too early for me to be feeling nauseous if this is working. Yesterday I felt crampy twinges. Pre-menstrual or implantation? Last night, on the way home from work, I burst into tears on the bus for no reason. Hormonal? Sure. But it is drugs or nature?

See? Driving myself crazy. I can't stand it. I can't stop thinking about it. And I can't even have a drink to try to forget about it, 'cause there's still that one little tiny chance in hell...



At 8/6/07 9:27 p.m., Blogger Nearlydawn said...

Hey, been right there with you toooo many times. Blech! Just hang in there, you'll have your answer soon. Here's hoping for it to be a very positive answer!!

At 8/6/07 10:11 p.m., Blogger miriam said...

'cause there's still that one little tiny chance in hell...

Luckily, you're not in Hell, since that's here in the USofA, not Canada. At least that's what Google maps says:


So your chances must be just a bit higher. Hang in there!

At 9/6/07 5:44 a.m., Blogger Bea said...

There's no logical answer to all the questioning. Not til beta day. I hope you can distract yourself from the asking as much as possible until then.

Hang in there, hang in there...


At 9/6/07 9:19 p.m., Blogger Rachel Inbar said...

Good luck passing the time. Isn't it amazing how time can pass so quickly sometimes and so slowly at others?

At 10/6/07 9:19 a.m., Blogger Natalie said...

It's a huge freaking roller coaster, and it is So Not Fun. I hope your end result is a very good one.

At 11/6/07 6:43 a.m., Blogger kirby said...

OOH! I have an easy solution: make aliyah.

Because you see, it's been my experience that time flies when you are making aliyah. Two-week wait? Surely it'll be gone in a minute if you're paying fees to store your container in port!

Aren't you glad I'm here to solve all your problems?

Seriously though, v. glad to hear you're joining us in EY next year.


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