12 June 2007

Just keep swimming

I have long, indepth conversations with G-d every day, twice a day. Demanding that He make at least one of those little embies stick. But lately I've realized, it's too late for that. They've either stuck or they haven't.

So I've switched to insisting that IF at least one of the embies stuck, He watch over it and keep it healthy, and let it grow fully with all its bits and bobs.

But that feels weird. Defeatist, almost. IF it stuck? Then we have the whole "keep it healthy" thing, which sounds too much like getting hopeful.

And what if I get a BFN tomorrow? Should my daily chats stop? Should I change it to, "Thanks a whole lot for NOTHING!" I can condense 10 minutes of conversation to one word: "why?"

That'll save me a whole lot of time in the morning.

Beta tomorrow. I can get through today, but how the hell do I get through tomorrow??



At 12/6/07 9:06 p.m., Blogger miriam said...

Hey, until you know, it isn't too late. (Hidden miracles are "easier" than open ones.)

At 12/6/07 9:35 p.m., Blogger projgen said...

I meant it's too late in terms of asking Hashem to make the embryo stick. If it hasn't stuck by now, it's long gone, so that's asking Hashem to change nature ;)

Since I'm not stuck in Egypt, that might be asking a bit much... heh.

At 13/6/07 12:09 a.m., Blogger megan said...

fingers crossed. hard.

At 13/6/07 1:57 a.m., Blogger Bea said...

Same way, only with greater difficulty?

Is it a long wait between the test and the result, then?


At 13/6/07 3:19 a.m., Blogger Erin said...

I don't think it's pessimistic, just realistic. I do hope that you have reason to be optimistic come tomorrow, though!

At 13/6/07 5:39 a.m., Blogger kirby said...

I am so pulling for you!

At 13/6/07 6:14 a.m., Blogger Stacie said...

I am on pins and needles waiting for tomorrow, too! I want this so badly for you!

At 13/6/07 7:14 p.m., Blogger projgen said...

I guess "long wait" is relative ;) Results could come this aft or tomorrow.

You guys rock! Thank you SO much for the love!!!

At 13/6/07 7:20 p.m., Blogger MM said...

I am going through the same issues - although our "problem" is with ME.

As of today, I am having those in-depth convos too.


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