G-d's little punching bag

You remember those blow-up Bozo the Clown punching dolls? I feel like G-d has one with my face on it.



As most of you know, Hubby and I are dealing with a severe lack of finances. Not just from IF, but also Hubby's been out of work for a long time. Some of the things that happen as a result of being out of work (and not eligible for EI) are bills get backed up and taxes don't get paid promptly. And in Canada, apparently, the tax men don't call you back when you leave loads and loads of messages for them. (Thankfully, their system keeps track of who calls and when, so we have proof that we've been trying - very hard - to get in touch with them. Yeah, something to keep in mind next time you want to drunk dial Revenue Canada.)

Every time we get close to seeing some relief, something hits the fan. Something happens to pull us back into the sinkhole that is our life. Something happens to remind us that happiness, for us, is all a grand illusion.

So, Hubby and I are all excited because he finally got a short term contract. A short term contract that will allow us to comfortably pay rent for the next two months.

Or so we thought.

It has to go to Revenue Canada. However, they're going to be nice and let us just pay them most of Hubby's paycheque, rather than all. Gee, thanks, guys.

Add to that stupid family crap (it's not easy being observant when your family isn't and thinks you're just making up stuff to be ornery), annoying in-law crap, a nasty flare-up with my chronic condition that is making just getting around, never mind sleeping, very difficult and you have a very cranky, very down-in-the-dumps projgen.

Oh yeah, you can add finally accepting (well, trying to) the fact that we will never have children of our own. Taking my age into consideration and how long it will likely take us to save up the money for another cycle (especially given how G-d apparently likes to get His heavenly kicks out of keeping me miserable), the chances of us having a biological child? Can you say "nil"?

Now if I can just get people to stop saying, "Don't give up! I know it will happen, I just know it!"

>>punch<<     >>punch<<     >>punch<<

posted by projgen @ 02:17