23 February 2007

Scratchy, Stuffy, Coughy and Grumpy

The Dwarves you never hear about.

*sigh* I'm sick. Again. After some 6 weeks with the flu over winter break, I am now, mere weeks later, sick again with a chest cold. I've been hacking up a lung all week. And just because coughing to the point of seeing spots and nearly passing out from the lack of oxygen isn't enough fun, I've also had, well, shall we say, "intestinal problems."

I had to go to the mikvah this week (that's a whole 'nother post in itself), and I had a little meltdown in the water. Normally, I take a private minute after immersing to say some special prayers, including one for me and Hubby to be able to a) do another cycle, and b) have it be successful. I started to do that this time, and when I got to praying for myself, I fell apart. I kept thinking, "I can't even take care of myself, how the hell am I supposed to take care of a child? Maybe this is why we haven't been able to come up with the money. Maybe we're [wait for it...] not meant to have children."

I was so grateful the attendant had left the room.

Look, women throughout the ages have taken care of their children when they've been sick. I know I'd be able to do it, too. But it's been so hard to get through this week; I had to call in sick two days, I've been in the bathroom more than I've been out of it, I haven't slept a single night all week for all the coughing, I haven't eaten much of anything all week (bonus! I've lost 5 pounds!) and I am desperate for some wonder drug that will knock me out and let me sleep for about two days.

I know, I'm whining. I'll feel better soon, and this will all be a distant memory. Until the next time I'm in a knock-down, drag out with my resident germs.

Meanwhile, I wonder how much weight I'll lose on the Hacker Diet (TM) before I get well?


At 24/2/07 12:31 a.m., Blogger Bea said...

Get well soon!


At 24/2/07 9:33 p.m., Blogger Rachel Inbar said...

Feel better! Sorry about your mikvah meltdown :-(

At 25/2/07 8:02 a.m., Blogger kirby said...

Oh sweetie. I wish you a complete refuah shleimah.

And know that you're not alone on the feelings of not deserving it sometimes.


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